We always lack confidence to confront unpleasant topics in a relationship, such as money troubles, or issues related to past or present errors in judgment or mistakes. In my opinion, you have to consider about confess to your partner, because somehow keeping a secret the same as betrayal. If you feel guilty or uneasy about omission information to them, it’s a red flag that you need to do so.
Let’s start
The reasons we should not keep secret in a relationship
- Keeping secrets is being dishonest. Honesty is always the important must-haves in any relationship. Without honesty, you have no trust, no commitment and no reliability. Because, you are dishonest, it gets hard to expect your partner honest. If you can’t expect total honesty in all things at the beginning of our relationship, when your partner lying, things might get a little stressful. It easily stops your relationship.
- Keeping your relationship a secret sets a precedent of dishonesty. True, it might not be deception between you and your partner, but it implies telling lies really isn‘t that bad if the situation demands it. By agreeing to a secret relationship, you‘ve implied that lying is acceptable in certain scenarios, which could lead to a lot of deception between you and your partner down the line.
- Being deceitful breeds mistrust. How your partner would view your secret if they found out and you neglected to tell them about it. If he or she believes that you truly has loved them at heart. Further, once a person loses trust, it is hard to regain. .
- It‘s Just Shady. Keeping your relationship a secret is also just plain shady. It likes when you lying beneath of big tree’s shadow. But you can not lie there all days. The same with feeling when you are not honest. It’s hard to feel emotionally connected to your partner caused you alway feel guity. In a such relationship like that, you wont be happy. Absolutely, you have to decide to confess or quit this relationship.
- It make you exhausted. Keeping secrets from a partner is a common dilemma that needs to be addressed on many levels. In fact, recent research shows that one in five people are keeping a major secret, such as infidelity or money troubles, from their spouse in the United Kingdom. Surprisingly, a quarter of respondents in this study said they kept this secret for more than 25 years. Further, one in four of those people who kept a secret in this study said that it was so big, they worried that it would destroy their marriage. Common secrets reported include money troubles, viewing pornography, and various forms of betrayal such as infidelity.
By keeping secrets or lying to your partner, you run the risk of losing their trust and putting your relationship in jeopardy.
What kind of secrets will ruin a relationship?
- Cheating. Someone is going to get jealous and want more time. Affairs might start out without emotion or strings attached, but in time, as we are all human, emotions grow. This is the point where the lover on the side becomes attached and wants that partner to themselves. This is when that person starts interfering with the couple’s relationship and that partner becomes exposed.
- Addiction. Keeping heavy and expensive addictions secret can damage relationships, and eventually, the individual themselves. Most addictions are expensive. I spent thousands and thousands on alcohol. Some people can cover up their addiction in various ways. Eventually, the cost will catch up and the household budget will want to account for the money.
- Trying to cover up children with previous partners, and support payments also tend to come up at some point. Sometimes, this too can result in severe damage to the relationship. It really comes down to the couple, and how they each respond to these sorts of things. Some people won’t tolerate any form of secrets or lies and others are very forgiving.
For the couples who believe that it’s okay to keep secrets in a relationship. Because they believe telling the truth will make things worse. Or they’ve convinced themselves that their significant other simply can’t handle the truth and might abandon them. I believe that being vulnerable and honest about all aspects of your life is an act of courage. So, rather find healthy ways to honestly express yourself to your partner is the best way to build a trusting relationship.
Read more: Secrets That Are Ok to Keep From Your Partner
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